Dear Waitstaff,

August 2, 2011

Posted by Kanga.

bowl of won ton soup

Dear Waitstaff,

Please never utter the word “momsir.” It is two words, ma’am and sir. Also, please use sparingly, not before and after every sentence.

If a plate is completely emptied of food, you do not need to ask if you can remove it from the table. We don’t want to have to give permission for the removal of each and every dish.

If the customer asks for something special, like real lemon or more syrup, you don’t have to overcompensate by bringing more than they could possibly use.

If there is still liquid in a glass, do not remove it, especially if it is an expensive drink. We’d like to finish it, thank you.

If your customer is paying by card, do not hover while they are signing the transaction slip. It will decrease your tip every time.

Please do not have loud conversations with other staff or customers. Especially if you are discussing your private life not so privately.

And, most importantly, do not sing along with the “mood music.” You are not on [insert country here] Has Talent.

We understand that your job is difficult with long hours and small pay. If our stay in your establishment is pleasant, we will try to return the favor.

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