A Business Proposition

October 25, 2013

Posted by Kanga.

plates of Filipino food

Many is the time that we go to a restaurant and have a good meal while having to bear the assault on our ears of blaring, annoying music. It is usually so loud that we cannot carry on a conversation or order our food without yelling. This results in a lot of pointing to the menu to make sure we get what we want. It also makes the dining experience miserable.

We have started asking wait staff to turn down the music. They sometimes do, although not low enough, but at least we can talk at a medium level instead of yelling. At our last (and I mean last) Texas Roadhouse experience, when we asked the wait staff to turn down the music, he told us that “Our sponsor wants it that way.” Well, then I guess “your sponsor” doesn’t want our patronage.

So, here’s my business idea — restaurants for introverts. An introvert restaurant would provide a quiet, nonintrusive dining experience.

  • Any “mood music” would be barely audible. Total lack of music would be even better.
  • Waitstaff would not constantly be interrupting the diners conversation to ask if they can clear an empty plate from the table and snatching barely used napkins. Unless the table is overcrowded with plates, the clean up would be left until after the diners have gone. The waitstaff would bring the bill to the table automatically after the diners have expressed that they do not want dessert or any further items.
  • The lighting would be pleasant – not so blaring that you have to squint and not so dark that you can’t see your food or dining companions.
  • Any loud, obnoxious customers would be ushered out. The owner or manager would not sit at one of the tables with laptop and phone, talking loudly while presumably doing business. Waitstaff would not sing or dance. The only music performance that should be allowed on this planet is the accordion player at the Rheinlander Restaurant in Portland, Oregon.
  • No televisions allowed.

I’m sure as soon as I publish this I will think of some other vitally important feature of the Introvert Restaurant, but for now this will do.



  1. Bathroom facilities?

    • I thought that went without saying.

  2. I HATE it when they whisk away plates while you’re not looking and haven’t quite finished with your food yet.

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